i like the adverbs
I just love how observant you are. You are such a wonderful writer and you make your reader so interested! Next time make sure you check your capitals. You can use a friend to see if you have got it right before publishing. Great use of adverbs in different parts of the sentences. Well done.
The detail in your writing allowed me to experience what you saw and how you felt. I can imagine what the bees looked like and how they flew as they surrounded the tree. Well done Troy. Keep blog posting so I can continue to share your writing. Mrs Smith
The image you have of the bees helps me connect my feels of being scared of bees to your description of how you felt and running to class to be away from the bees. I enjoy real life posts, thanks Troy.